The Grand Canyon

Lately I have been seeing myself taking a head first dive off the rim of the Grand Canyon and instead of sprouting wings (like I thought I would) my body is in a free fall, flailing itself from one rock ledge to the next.


Each full throttle smattering on the ledge reminds me of:

An unpaid bill (bang)
A shitty should
The weight I have put on
That time that day I raised my voice at the kids
My lack of motivation to promote my business

And it hurts and I see myself all battered and bruised at the bottom of the canyon and I am bleeding and I can’t breathe because I can’t stop sobbing and hyperventilating that I have completely and thoroughly screwed up my life and let everybody down.  The panic is like something I have never experienced before at EVERY night at 3:33 AM I am catapulted out of bed because of my racing, panicky heart.

I reach out to google because quite frankly, it seems somewhat ironic that 3:33 is the appointed hour and I learn that my angels are trying to tell me something.  They are telling me that:

I am too concentrated in thinking negative thoughts (smack)
That my union of mind, body and spirit is off
That I need more balance in my life

Thanks to google and my angels, I asked myself what my body, mind and spirit needs (by needs I mean-what can I learn from this so that I can move forward).

I learned from my friend Leanne that, “The Universe is like a crock-pot, #setitandforgetit.” And I need to stop asking over and over for stuff like a spoiled child, the Universe only needs to hear it one time.

I learned that when everyone in my house is napping that is the Universe saying, “Do your vision board now…I have given you time.” And so I did and it is AWEsome! (I had been sitting on my little cutouts for over a month)

"Follow your dreams, fool"

“Follow your dreams, fool”

I learned to thank myself when I do exercise, not to beat myself up when I don’t and to remember that the weight is from quitting smoking, “GO ME!”

And finally, I learned that money doesn’t define my worth on this planet and when I am true to my purpose…it flows in like water. (DUH, smack, whack, conk)


About Melissa Bird

Melissa Bird is a passionate feminist who has turned her education in social work into a career advocating for children, women and their families. She is a fierce believer in preparing women for leadership roles in politics and has a wealth of experience working with policy makers, community leaders, and other stakeholders to improve access to reproductive health care for women, men and teens. In 2006, Melissa became the Vice President of Public Affairs for Planned Parenthood of Utah where she quickly took a struggling political organization from mediocre to powerhouse in just a few years. Melissa has written and passed into law six pieces of legislation that aim to help disadvantaged homeless youth find shelter and women and their families obtain unfettered access to reproductive health care. A spirited public speaker, Melissa derives great joy from speaking to groups of all sizes about social justice advocacy, reproductive health, women’s empowerment, and fundraising. Melissa has presented workshops at many conferences throughout the country such as: Planned Parenthood Federation of America-State Public Affairs Network: New Public Affairs Staff Orientation—Washington D.C. Planned Parenthood Federation of America-Innovations & Generations Conference—Seattle, Washington Troubled Youth Conference—Snowbird, Utah Child Welfare League of America National Conference—Washington D.C. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center of Mental Health Services Conference-Collaborative Approaches to Successful Transition for Children, Youth, and Families within System of Care—Dallas, Texas Melissa has played many roles throughout her life including preschool teacher, professional lobbyist, university professor, non-profit executive, wife and mother. Throughout her life and her career, Melissa has always held a deep conviction that she is here to empower others in order to improve the lives of women and children throughout the world.
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