The Grand Canyon

Lately I have been seeing myself taking a head first dive off the rim of the Grand Canyon and instead of sprouting wings (like I thought I would) my body is in a free fall, flailing itself from one rock ledge to the next.

Bam-Ouch.
Thwap-Ugh.
Smack-Aargh.

Each full throttle smattering on the ledge reminds me of:

An unpaid bill (bang)
A shitty should
(thump)
The weight I have put on
(slap)
That time that day I raised my voice at the kids
(whack)
My lack of motivation to promote my business
(conk)

And it hurts and I see myself all battered and bruised at the bottom of the canyon and I am bleeding and I can’t breathe because I can’t stop sobbing and hyperventilating that I have completely and thoroughly screwed up my life and let everybody down.  The panic is like something I have never experienced before at EVERY night at 3:33 AM I am catapulted out of bed because of my racing, panicky heart.

I reach out to google because quite frankly, it seems somewhat ironic that 3:33 is the appointed hour and I learn that my angels are trying to tell me something.  They are telling me that:

I am too concentrated in thinking negative thoughts (smack)
That my union of mind, body and spirit is off
(slap)
That I need more balance in my life
(DUH)

Thanks to google and my angels, I asked myself what my body, mind and spirit needs (by needs I mean-what can I learn from this so that I can move forward).

I learned from my friend Leanne that, “The Universe is like a crock-pot, #setitandforgetit.” And I need to stop asking over and over for stuff like a spoiled child, the Universe only needs to hear it one time.

I learned that when everyone in my house is napping that is the Universe saying, “Do your vision board now…I have given you time.” And so I did and it is AWEsome! (I had been sitting on my little cutouts for over a month)

"Follow your dreams, fool"
“Follow your dreams, fool”

I learned to thank myself when I do exercise, not to beat myself up when I don’t and to remember that the weight is from quitting smoking, “GO ME!”

And finally, I learned that money doesn’t define my worth on this planet and when I am true to my purpose…it flows in like water. (DUH, smack, whack, conk)

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