Into the Abyss

I am drowning…I am drowning in:

Shame     Guilt     Anger     Fierce HATE     Insecurity     Fear

I am trying to pray.
I am trying to be more love centered.
I am trying to be kind.
I am trying not to run away.

But…

All I want to do is:

Scream     Throw     Kick     Beat    Yell     Cry     Lash Out     Breakdown     Sob

I am trying to have patience.
I am trying to let go.
I am trying to stop self sabotaging.
I am trying to keep looking at the sky.

What is it that I don’t feel like it is ok to FEEL all these things?
Why am I still so unable to let go of the bad habits that I know in my brain lead to dysfunction?

Where is my STRONG, BADASS, FIERCE, REVOLUTIONARY, WONDER WOMAN SELF and how do I pull myself out of this abyss?

How do I remember to:

Stay in the Present     Recognize MY Blessings      Enjoy Every Moment     Remember it all Happens on Purpose     Stay IN the Love    Hold ON to the Happy

As women we all live in a world where we feel these conflicts in one way or another…perhaps the answer is REALLY, TRULY as simple as the one I tell:

my clients    my lover    my friends    my fellow activists
my family    my colleagues

Do or do not…there is no try.” -Yoda

 

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About Melissa Bird

Melissa Bird is a passionate feminist who has turned her education in social work into a career advocating for children, women and their families. She is a fierce believer in preparing women for leadership roles in politics and has a wealth of experience working with policy makers, community leaders, and other stakeholders to improve access to reproductive health care for women, men and teens. In 2006, Melissa became the Vice President of Public Affairs for Planned Parenthood of Utah where she quickly took a struggling political organization from mediocre to powerhouse in just a few years. Melissa has written and passed into law six pieces of legislation that aim to help disadvantaged homeless youth find shelter and women and their families obtain unfettered access to reproductive health care. A spirited public speaker, Melissa derives great joy from speaking to groups of all sizes about social justice advocacy, reproductive health, women’s empowerment, and fundraising. Melissa has presented workshops at many conferences throughout the country such as: Planned Parenthood Federation of America-State Public Affairs Network: New Public Affairs Staff Orientation—Washington D.C. Planned Parenthood Federation of America-Innovations & Generations Conference—Seattle, Washington Troubled Youth Conference—Snowbird, Utah Child Welfare League of America National Conference—Washington D.C. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center of Mental Health Services Conference-Collaborative Approaches to Successful Transition for Children, Youth, and Families within System of Care—Dallas, Texas Melissa has played many roles throughout her life including preschool teacher, professional lobbyist, university professor, non-profit executive, wife and mother. Throughout her life and her career, Melissa has always held a deep conviction that she is here to empower others in order to improve the lives of women and children throughout the world.
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One Response to Into the Abyss

  1. Thank you for speaking your honest, raw truth. I hear you my sister.

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