I wrote this on 10/27/18. As the news was rolling in that many people had been shot in a Pittsburgh Synagogue, I silently wept while trying to maintain some semblance of happiness at my son’s final soccer game of the year. Here is what I wrote.
Today, families were ripped apart by gunfire and rage & the President of the United States of America applauded the devastation.
Today, I openly sobbed in front of my 8 year old son because I am so ripped apart about the hate being sown by those with the highest power.
I miss the President who wept with his people when tragedy occurred. I long for the President we almost had, the one who would have led us to prosperity & equality.
I weep because of the leadership that is missing. I crave the feeling of hope & promise.
I feel deep, deep rage that these fires are being started by the President of the United States of America. I cried to my friend Nicole saying, “I cannot stand watching the death of this democracy that I hold dear.” Her response was, “This is an epochal event.”
Watching this democracy fall is devastating.
Knowing that violence against the people living in this Nation is being condoned by the silence of congress, by the white men in power and the women who blindly follow, is shameful.
Today my fire is burning low.
The grief I feel is overwhelming.
The love I want to give to those who are reeling feels like it is not enough.
I am gripped by a devastation that feels so vast, I do not know what to do with myself. I will connect with those that love me best. I will grieve.
I will wield my pen and use my voice. But for now, my flame will burn low.
I want a President who is a leader and not a fascist. Calling these white men uneducated loners does nothing but erase and minimize the white supremacist agenda. When will the media start calling bombers and shooters WHITE MEN? WHITE DOMESTIC TERRORISTS.
These white men are following a call to action directly from Fox News and the President of the United States of America.
Foreign governments are working to destabilize our government using social media as their weapon of war. Espionage is stoking the flames of racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia – wielding the torch of the ugly truth about white America as a racist nation state.
We are slowly starting to be shut off from world news. It is a slow trickle that cannot be ignored.
This is not just another shooting. As my friend Sharon said, “It’s not a shock, but it’s shocking.”
To learn more about and donate to HIAS, the Jewish Refugee organization mentioned by the white supremacist who murdered innocent people in Pittsburgh last week, click here.
Start some mayhem, raise some hell!
Dr. Melissa Bird